We had a close call today. My girls have been sick with a bad cold and my hubby thought the best cure for that was to take them fishing with him to test out one of his new motors. He asked the girls to stand in the yard and wait for him to back the van out so he could attach the boat. As he backed out, he happen to notice my 5 year old angels' blonde head bobbing in the rear view mirror and hit the brakes just in time. Apparently, she was being chased by a bumble bee and decided the only way to escape was heading straight for the driveway.
When they walked in, they all stared at me quietly while I finished up their PB&J's. I could sense something was wrong and asked. Everyone was quiet, especially Daddy and then everyone started speaking at once. It took me a minute and then my tears came. Then my baby's tears came. She realized what had happened and couldn't quit crying. I told her over and over again how glad I was that she was safe and how God had plans for her. Tears fell down her beautifully soft and pink chubby cheeks as she said she thought I would be so mad at her. I explained that my tears were not of anger, they were actually happy tears that she was in my arms safe. I told her over and over again how much I loved her and how much He loved her.
I visited a friends church today, far from home. On that ride I was praying in the Spirit and the Lord spoke to me and said basically that Satan is a taker, but he cannot take anything from God's children that God has given you: not money, not time, not a house, not a husband, not a car, not a child, not a life. (However, you can choose to give them up). When you belong to the Lord, your life is not taken (even by God), you are received by the Father at His appointed time.
We will never see His big picture until we get to heaven (maybe) and I certainly have questions about why my friends have lost ones so dear to their hearts and mine. I just know that since the bible is true, He concerns Himself with the very number of the hairs on our heads (Mth 10:30, Luke 12:7), and His thoughts for us outnumber the grains of sand (Ps. 139:17-18), and all of our days are written in His book before one of them comes to be (Ps. 139:16) and nothing can separate us from Him (Romans 8:38-39), then I have no choice but to believe He is who He says He is. That He loves me no matter what happens and this earth is not my home.
I need to refocus, again. This earth is NOT my home. I really sweat the small stuff, sometimes to the point of sin. Fear, worry, regret, discontentment, anxiety, they all get the best of me sometimes. Can my Father really forgive me again for the same sin this 50th time of doing it? Will He really come behind me and put His strong arms under mine and lift me to a standing position...one...more...time? Yes. Grace. Undeserved. Out of debt. Paid in full. Zero balance. White. Clean. Me. How? Jesus. Blood. His blood never runs dry (1 John 1:7).
I sit here with wet eyelashes so thankful for the little blonde ladybug on the bottom bunk, snoozing without a care in the world and I wonder...will she be able to understand just how much God loves her~so she can truly enjoy her life before she's 37? I hope so and I believe it's His will that I show her how.
Teach me, Father. I'm so hungry to know. Thank you for another opportunity. Words cannot express how very grateful I am to You.